Love is a losing game, how you can win from loss.
Whenever there is love, there is also loss.
From a family pet to a parent, from a good steak pie to a day at the seaside. Eventually, everything comes to an end, and the loss you feel as people or times pass by goes on a sliding scale from – looking forward to next time – to crushed.
The only solution is not to participate in the biggest and brightest feeling we survive and thrive on. Love. There is nothing like it in all its guises. To not take part would leave you feeling disconnected and adrift.
So, what do you do when you find yourself on the losing end?
If you are on a day out and you’ve had a blast with the people you were with or the place you visited, there are the memories to wrap around you and the promise that you can do it again soon.
Losing someone you love through a passing on of some description can be crippling mentally and have a much more significant impact on your life and wellbeing. Recovering from something as huge as this will take a winding road and a good dose of help along the way.
Recently I went through the loss of a loved one, the loss of a longstanding routine, and the loss of my daughter moving on. All of them needed managing differently. One size does not fit all when it comes to managing your emotions where love is concerned.
The one thing that stands firm throughout is that time moves on. It doesn’t stand still for anyone. Continuing with your life and finding ways to get out there and live is key to your happiness. Returning from being crushed is a process that you must find your way through to survive.
Returning from a day out, you can live on those memories for a few months. They are not painful because there is always the promise of reliving them another time, or they don’t have the same emotional hold over you as losing a loved one. In fact, they are the opposite, they leave you buoyed up and living in a happy space.
I always say that your life is like a jigsaw puzzle with various sized pieces; when one of them is removed, the rest of your life must realign itself because everything shifts. It all has to find its new home, routine, pathway. It all has to fit together still, or you become broken. Sometimes finding where a part of your puzzle goes can take time.
What to do if love is a losing game?
Wrapping beautiful memories around you like a cloak will keep you warm and uplifted. Don’t shy away from the initial pain it might bring. Sit with it and let it turn to something warmer for you.
Try not to bury your head in the sand. That can only bring pain with a double sting on top at a later date, and usually when you least expect it. Go through the middle. Embrace your new feelings and work with someone if they become all-consuming.
Find people or a group that can uplift and support you. Depending on what you are dealing with, it’s a great time to reinvent yourself. Getting help to do that can bring new ways of putting your puzzle back together and having fun in the process. Or lean on 365 Days of Messages to keep you lifted.
As with everything in life, it is a matter of how you choose to look at it.
The loss of my loved one leaves a heavy stamp on my heart for sure, but the main focus for me is that I was blessed ever to have him in my life at all. He is one of the most beautiful people I have ever had around me, and for that, I am grateful. It is a massive piece in my jigsaw puzzle life, and it will be interesting to see how the changes from that unfold.
The longstanding routine is now a memory. Over in a flash. It was fun at the time, but it was also hard work. So do I mourn its loss or celebrate the moving on and ease that has appeared in my life. That one is an easy decision whilst marking the time that is now over.
My daughter moving on? Many of you have dealt with that—some very well and others not so. The truth is your children can’t do their blistering best from the family home. It is exciting to see her march out into the world with her kindness and desire to make the world a better place. One of my lovely neighbours sent me a card and champagne to celebrate the success I have had with my two children, both now turned into adults. Acknowledging the next chapter as well as what has been left behind.
If love is a losing game, I urge you to look at loss as a time for growth and reinvention. Take onboard the help you need and grab your life with both hands. It is fleeting at best!
For those ready to take on a new life and rebuild after adversity, why not take a look at 365 Thrive? Helping you find your roots and reconnect with who you are. It’s a free event, and you can find it here – https://bit.ly/2Xqo07f