Besides, who wants to navigate breast cancer with grace anyway??
I overheard a very well-meaning friend encouraging her friend, saying that we would get through this with grace. Her idea and thinking is lovely, but is it really doable when you are faced with the enormity of being told you have breast cancer? The grace bit?
When you have a breast cancer diagnosis you find it hard to feel one bit of grace because all you feel is confused, angry and full of disbelief. Your poor head gets stuffed full of cotton wool, and your brain is all but shut down to protect you.
No grace to be found here!
Fear
You quickly slide into fear.
All-encompassing, consuming fear.
Additionally the lack of clarity around what you are precisely dealing with isn’t usually clear in the first instance. And there you are, flung into the waiting game, which rears its head throughout the whole time you are under your oncology team.
Maybe you can try and find some grace at this point, but numbness is a better word.
Treatment Pathway
Meanwhile, here comes the pathway through, and navigating breast cancer is so different for each patient, you would be hard pushed to share a ‘me too’ moment with anyone.
Chemotherapy first to shrink tumours.
Surgery first to remove tumours.
No surgery required.
Straightaway you find yourself learning words you didn’t wish to learn. You are having your diary taken over with the shadow in your life commonly known as the Oncology Department.
Oncology this way!
Eventually as the days go by and your route unfolds, there is a different kind of resilience that emerges that you haven’t encountered before. Is that grace? Not really.
And here comes the treatment. Holy moly – no grace to be found there either.
Anger.
Upset.
Feeling unwell.
Despondent.
Uncertain.
Hacked off.
No! There is no grace in sight there either.
Well-meaning
Look, we all know that the friend was meaning well and trying to keep her friend on a path that SHE could recognise. In truth, it is hard for a friend to step into that role and offer breast cancer support to someone they care for. It was the friend who wanted some grace to keep control of her rising panic.
In truth, breast cancer support with grace doesn’t often come. It is best worked through in your way. In this situation it is all about you – maybe for the first time in your life. If grace comes naturally to you, I am sure you will have an army of breast cancer patients cheering you on while they are shouting at the sky.
Together with your oncology team, as you continue your journey, 365 Days of Breast Cancer messages remain a beacon of light, guiding you with positivity and strength and finding the grace for you that makes your resilience truly radiant.
In addition if you are looking to layer your support, you can find more of that here. We work alongside Maggie’s. Click here to learn more.
